Black Friday Guilt-less

A writing from Black Friday 2011, just so that we ALL remember what happened last year...

Recovering from any holiday weekend, it’s easy to have a little extra guilt on Monday over too much turkey, stuffing, rolls, and pie.  Even running the Turkey Trot this year at the YMCA didn’t save me from that regret.  However, I got lucky and have no guilt from a Black Friday shopping spree.

This year my sister and I lost our minds and decided to try Black Friday shopping.  While the media had pumped up this 2011 event as one of the biggest with retail stores opening on Thanksgiving Day, and people all over the world condemning American commerce, Lillie and I got the itch.  I think it was the thrill of the idea of being in the mall in the middle of the night that got to us.  So at 7 p.m. after learning of a super great, can’t miss deal on car seats at Toys R Us, we devised what I thought was a brilliant plan.  Pick Lillie up at 8:15, Toys R Us by 9:00, in and out by 9:30 with the car seat, The Muppet Movie at 9:45, back to Younkers by Midnight.  Brilliant!  Ha!

We arrived to Toys R Us to find crazy women who had been lined up since 5pm, and a growing queue of additional crazies lining up past the entrance of Khols.  We stood in line patiently for about five minutes, before my shopping ADD kicked into full swing and I started devising a plan to cut, line jump, and/or bulldoze my way to the front.  (I didn’t want to miss the singing puppets after all, as we had pre-purchased to avoid lines.)  Well that was another stupid idea, as crazy, deal-driven shoppers know their surroundings like gazelle at the watering hole. So, we abandoned ship and went to the Muppets. 

There is something wrong with a country whose people are lined up for hours to save 20% off and stand in line for another hour checking out, but where the Muppets is empty for the late show.  It was a terrific movie that I could see again and again.  I’m glad we didn’t miss it.  We did however miss the car seat deal.  We tried Younkers and the mall, but the mystique couldn’t beat the wall to wall people carrying as many pillows as they could hold.  We left with $8 earrings and an oath to shop online next year. 

So today, I may have stuffing guilt and a little pie guilt, but I have no Black Friday guilt.  So I tried to cut…some crazy woman pepper sprayed the people behind her at a Wal-Mart.  I probably would have been the victim if we hadn’t had the sense to go see the Muppets.